The first time I heard the term self-care was in a doula training course. The instructor brought it up, and all the women in the room began discussing how they take time for themselves so they can be better for their employers and their families. I had been a mom for six years and had three children, and it had never occurred to me to do anything for myself. The extent of my self-care was stuffing my face with chocolate and chips after my kids went to bed. Had I been doing it wrong? I always felt tremendous mom-guilt when doing anything that didn’t revolve around my children.
As I listened to the women in the room, I was intrigued by the different ways they practice self-care. Some women enjoy simple pleasures, such as a hot shower or bubble bath. Some women take full vacations to tropical destinations. Some women use exercise as self-care–biking, yoga, jogging, or strength training.
A few months later, I was in a leadership meeting and the guest speaker chose self-care as her topic. She did not call it self-care, however; she called it “recharging your battery.” She told us a story about how while reorganizing her kitchen, she had placed her batteries in a metal container. Days later when her children needed batteries for their toys, she realized that the batteries were all dead. The metal container had drained all the batteries. She used this analogy to convey to us that as women, we often place our batteries in places that drain us, and then we have nothing left to give. And isn’t that the truth? As women, as wives, as mothers, we give and give and give until we have nothing left to give. And then we give some more. We have to take care to apply our batteries in efforts that won’t completely drain us, and then we need to recharge. For our families, our employers, and, especially, ourselves.
Think of something you love to do. Is it reading? Spending time with your girlfriends? A trip to the spa? Binge-watching Netflix? Whatever it is that makes you happy, DO IT. Carve out that time, momma. Make it a priority. Ask for help if you need to. Ask your partner, your family, your friends, or a doula. We know how hard you work. We know how much you give. And we know how much you need time for YOU. Let us help you recharge your battery so you can be better for the people who need you. You need time to focus on what makes you happy and fulfilled.